Dependent

With tears in my eyes, I shut and lock my bedroom door. My world is literally ending. There is no way I can go on without my friends. They are my life. They keep me standing. Without them, I’m broken. I can’t handle life’s day to day struggles knowing that I don’t have a shoulder to cry on.I slam my fist against the wall and sob. “How could you do this to me?!” I scream into the air, subconsciously thankful that my house was empty. “You’re supposed to be my best friend!” I fall to my knees and the world feels like it’s closing in on me. My vision starts to go black. All I can picture is where I was just several hours ago…
    “I know I’ve made some bad choices lately, but I want to fix it. You guys are my best friends.” Katie’s face seemed so sincere. She looked as if she really regretted everything that she had done to hurt us.
    “You’re going to have to prove it,” Sam said.
    “I understand that,” Katie replied. “Just give me one more chance. I swear I’ll make it better.”
    “I hope so,” I chimed in. “You guys are my everything and, to be completely honest, I don’t think I’d be here if I didn’t have you. I honestly think I would kill myself if I lost you. You’re all that holds me up.”
    “I know Heather. And I love you so much,” Katie smiled. “I promise, it will be different this time…”
    Only two hours after that talk did the proof that things would never change come in the form of a phone call.
    “You lied!” I scream. “You told me things would change! You told me you would fix things! You promised…” I stare at the ceiling fan as it spins around and around and around. The tears on my face slowly start to dry. I pull myself to my feet and shakily walk to my bed.
    “You still have Michelle, Debbie, and Sam,” I tell myself. “You don’t need Katie. You need real friends. Debbie, Sam, and Michelle would never do this to you. You haven’t lost everything. Open your eyes. Look at what you still have. You have three best friends who will never let you down.”
    All dark thoughts creep out of my mind, run out by the positive truth that is starting to sink in. And I smile. I still have someone to go to. There is still someone to hold me up.  can’t do it by myself, but I know I don’t have to.”